cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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