I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
