Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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