We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
