the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
