He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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