Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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