he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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