Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
