I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
