I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
