Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
