That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
