i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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