when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I am naked and annoyed.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
