I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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