Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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