those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
