I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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