I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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