you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
