White coat. Heels.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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