He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
