but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
