If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
