So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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