There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
