after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
