it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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