dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wanna passion pit in your ass
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
