??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
