Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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