i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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