he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
