He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
