You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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