They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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