Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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