wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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