No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
