i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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