You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
