Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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