She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Randomize
