Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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