Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just had sex on a roof
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
