Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
