someone threw a dead crab at me
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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