Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Randomize
