I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
