The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
