shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
