I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
