why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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