chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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