Dual....:-)
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
