Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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