So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
