there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
